Week 1 of 52 | Self-Portait

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It's not that I had forgotten to post, it's that I was avoiding it. The dreaded self portrait. While taking photos of others is a fun thing to me, getting my photo taken is another story. As you grow older I feel this happens. When I was young I was a cheeseball who loved to be in front of the camera. Smiling, touching my nose to my nose, being silly. In high school my interest in photography led to so many selfies, stored away in a Photobucket account. But as I have gotten older, I don't like seeing myself in photos so much. Like everybody who has any hint of insecurity, I see things that nobody else does. I don't like my wavy hair, so it gets put up or straightened. I have perfect teeth (my mom spent so much money on them), yet I see things I dislike. I'm fuzzy, I'm bigger than I used to be..etc etc.

I don't wear a lot of makeup, and can go weeks without, but this week I told myself I HAD to wear make-up because week one is self-portrait. I HAD to. Even though I don't wear is often, it was a must.I don't even need it honestly, not in a conceded way, I just really lucked out. I didn't know how I wanted to be perceived, but I knew it wasn't some homely unkempt girl. I wanted to be beautiful. I tried a couple days, but was just unhappy with the results. I even pushed the post off a day... The photo above is from the weekend. No makeup, all natural, even a little risque admittedly. I wondered if I wanted my clients, friends, and family to see something like this. I questioned & just left the photo on my card in my camera.  

But here we are. I could've done something artsy, but seeing as I live with two roommates, I get embarrassed when I have to urge to do something creative, and since the best light is in the dining area, I just retreat, or wait until nobody is around. I didn't have that option this week, but maybe soon. 

 

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PS here's a much happier looking Shelby selfie. this is the normal not artsy, I don't care Shelby. Usually laughing and happy and enthuased. 

There are so many ghosts of selfies past, but this is the present.  

I'll still be posting tomorrow, so catch ya then! 

XO, Shelby Bell